my husband never wants to go anywheremy husband never wants to go anywhere

Lets face it, we arent children anymore, either have an adult relationship or dont, if you do not want to, then let the other person go so he/she can. If that something is lacking so severely than they would simply LEAVE. If youve gained a lot of weight, let your hair go gray, or stopped caring about your appearance, its possible your husband no longer finds you attractive. Will they appreciate what they have? Im glad its over for you. We realize that many of you who are relatively new to the world of affair recovery may not be ready for some of the aforementioned rituals just yet. If he's super passive aggressive or he doesn't like confrontation, this could be his way of telling you that he doesn't want a serious relationship with you. If your husband feels like he cant get a break from them, itll start to take a toll on him, and he might begin distancing himself from you. I was always the family planner and organizer too. That too is wrong. " If dat new guy don't stop follin wit ma girl, ahm gon put a gree gree on him ." First, talk to him about how youre feeling and see if theres anything he can do to change the situation. You have your sons hearts, love, support, and respect. And really peace for your ex too. We become so busy raising our kids, that we neglect to pursue our OWN interests and hobbies, especially as a couple. For example, would he prefer to spend time alone with you? My dumb self will tag along because "it's at least something". Great comment, I am just sorry that your wife didnt wake up and realize how lucky she was to have someone who was so committed to their marriage and family. I am sure that when most of us look back they realize how little effort the cheater put into any of those things prior and during the affair. I couldnt say it better EG. If he does something differently, it does not mean that it's wrong. You don't get a free pass. I deserved better. Im worthy f respect, from him and his family, he should stand by my every time his family disrespect me. If your husband is spending more time with friends, at work, or on his hobbies, it might be because hes found someone new to spend his time with. I cant help but ask myself is it worth it? Best wishes Rachelyou have won what is most important to you!!! My dr had wanted me to start being on medication for depression but had also said things would be better if your h would change his attitude and start helping you, because this is why you are so depressed. the list goes on and on and on. A Crappy Vacation Told Me My Marriage Was Really Over. If I would have filed at the beginning I would be years ahead in of where I am now in terms of my recovery. Talk to him about how youre feeling and see if theres anything you can do to help relieve some of his stress. Now shes pregnant (its mine) and I dont really have a choice. Two years ago he was an ER physician, today he spent 10 minutes trying to figure out how to open the refrigerator. Just a little! Our marriage for many years was all about our kids and their activities, sports, etc. I totally believe until you honestly think that both affair partners are equally responsible for the affair, under any circumstances,no matter what reasonsthey give, no matter who they are, yourself or others, it is being defensive. Told me why now when he doesnt care. IMHO. That is a rough thing to admit, but doing so frees me of any thought that any cheater isnt responsible for his or her actions. To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account. There is one of three reasons . Take care. Don't get in a relationship where the main traits of a person irritates, you and don't expect those traits to just magically disappear just because you get married, Have a discussion where things do not move on until he starts answering questions, He gets on medication or he starts seeing someone to get his depression under control. Doug, I know you were joking but knowing Linda and what you guys have learned through hard experience, I am willing to bet she did very, very little husband bashing. Most husbands work outside the home to provide for the family. If that makes sense. The day-to-day grind of work, errands, and childcare can make it hard to find time for each other, and you conclude: My husband doesn t like spending time with my family and me. This is especially true if you have different schedules or live in other places. Donot tell him your every move. He wont go anywhere! I think the trap your friends fell into was set years ago. It's a good way to keep a relationship alive. If your husband feels like youre constantly nagging him, hell likely start to dread spending time with you. What this means for me is If he wants to pick an argument or indulge in another round of self pity, I dont have to join in. Exercise grace I relate entirely to the one-women circus comment (except the women part-haha.) Oh, and your partner should never ask you to "stop crying" or say things like "you can't get mad." Your feelings are your feelings. Sometimes, codependent people may end up in. He either doesn't want to be seen with her or he doesn't want someone else to see him while he is with her. Im totally fascinated by what people have to say about infidelity and its helpful in challenging myself about what I think. I have begun traveling without him because he wont go. Some people think that threats have to be physical in nature to be problematic. Yes, this is selfish behavior but we ALL have our emotional limits. I felt gutted. I think Ive done my share. Of course that was a trigger for me, and I told him that it was nice that he was focusing on how the whole thing made HIM feel, and totally ignored how gut wrenching it was for ME as she sat there describing a college boyfriend who cheated on her, and went on at length about how I have no idea the pain, the agony, the etc etcof being cheated on. Like threatening to kill my cats, destroying my property, etc. Fcol, its very tiresome, I guess we just have to focus on our h losing their way and were not strong enough to see their way clearly. Or going out together with friends or family? Just wanted to let you know I understand what youre going through, youre not alone! I think I need to do the same, start giving myself the self respect and stop basing it on my h assessments of me. Encourage and compliment your spouse. Friday may 31st will be divorce day. Ive never really figured out how to process my first marriage and all it involved. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. I should have kicked her out immediately and filed for divorce. They just werent invested, and I believe it has to do with how they felt about themselves at the time. This is separate from and at times in spite of, others around me. Nikada / iStock. I dont really think badly of my husband. My H never wants to do anything and has called his existence dead with me and that she awakened him. Things have evened out quite a bit and we have some nice little teamwork going on. On the other hand, Linda read some book ( I think by Suzanne Somers) that claimed much of the fuddy-duddyness in men stems from a lack of testosterone. It's an example of his own insecurity and need to control you. The problem isn't your job. Plan a weekly date night where you go out to dinner or see a movie, Go on weekend trips together even if its just for a few hours, Make time for a weekly game night or hobby night, Exercise together this can be anything from going for a walk to playing tennis. I love to be out and do fun things from traveling to movies to concerts etc. Was he responsible for me cheating on him? Rachel, hes not winning or in control. Worse, I let others judge that for me. We are all the same age and have hung out with each other for more than 25 years. I only vent here. SHOW NOTES To see pictures of Stacy on some of his many climbing . Its control, but only when he sees me doing things that dont involve him. I say. Oh, I know, EG. Most of the Time My Husband Doesn't Want to do Sh*t 67 by Linda and Doug Those were the words that one of our friends told Linda recently Saturday night we met up with two other couples who we consider to be some of our closest friends. Samantha Rodman Whiten September 28, 2018. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. Thankfully, my h told her, there is no way I will take the children away from their mother. 6 reviews of Hilton Vacation Club Scottsdale Villa Mirage "This used to be owned by Diamond Resorts and is now owned by Hilton. Plus, itll give you some time to pursue your own interests instead of thinking for hours: My husband never wants to do anything with me.. There has to be a shift in thinking and approach here. Mumsnet carries some affiliate marketing links, so if you buy something through our posts, we may get a small share of the sale (more details here). Alternately, the affair partner wants to place the blame on the cheating spouse. Unique Proposal Ideas To Make Your Partner Say Yes, 21 Signs the Universe Wants You to Be With Someone, What to Do When a Guy Ghosts You: Obvious Red Flag Explained. I finally decided that she will never appreciate how much I did for herbefore or after her cheating. Gradually, he's changed, and his hygiene has gotten worse and worse. Im exhausted and burned out. If you're spending more time with work, kids, or hobbies, he may feel left out. What do I do? Dear Annie: My husband and I have been married one year. Yeah I know..not productive, LOL. Below, psychologists and marriage therapists offer 7 common signs that a spouse may be growing restless in a relationship. I had counseled with Jed diamond who believed he is depressed but my husband will not even consider this. No, no one wins we just keeping moving forward. I am tired of the many years of being his personal assistant, director, PR person, party planner, date night organizer, relational health coach, spiritual leader and the bad guy parent. I have to agree. Not that Im interested one bit. People value what they invest in as opposed to what they are not invested in. Also I am MUCH more aware of making even the slightest joke at his expense. Where is the feeling that what I have devoted the last THIRTY years of my life to, has mattered? Travelling alone is a whole new experience and in my experience, you meet people wherever you go. being a friend to. Maybe he just shows his affection in other ways? My husband is retired and never wants to do anything. I hope that eventually you can look back on your marriage and not look at it as wasted time. Self-destruct, and take the easy way out. What to do when my husband never wants to do anything with me? Blessings friend! Eg, unfortunately with my h cousin it, she thought it was and when it looked like she could use it she threw herself at him like a bitch on heat. It is so easy to make our lives about our kids. Relationships are challenging, and that includes marriages. And he had better think about how to mentally gird himself and decide how to react calmly to it. That obviously will take a while. Please make sure you read our rules here. she willingly goes to counseling but I dont think think she puts much effort towards repairing our marriage. Selfish people are extremely immersed in themselves. And as the years go by and more time and effort is devoted to raising and nurturing kids and taking care of all of lifes other issues, this weakness, along with adventure and passion, is often overlooked. What a shame eg, they are not going to see it. Don't think your heavy sighs and the comments made under your breath are going unnoticed. They are selfishly seeking attention, with NO intention of giving up their real relationship. So, if you think this might be the explanation for the issue my husband never wants to do anything with me, make an effort to lose weight, get a new haircut, or buy some new clothes. Its all about him and hes still in control! We have two very young kids and both work high-pressure, full-time jobs. The outcome is a husband who is detached and less interested in being around his wife. He should be talking with the baby if not reading to baby at least once a week is not asking much. What to do if my husband never wants to do anything with me because of mental illness? No, not perfectly but he COULD have asked for what he needed. I am asking him to step up into a role he has really never (in 26 years of marriage) had to fulfill. Once he achieves them, youll have plenty of quality time together. All he ever wants to do is sit on the couch and watch TV. For years, the six of us and all of our kids would go camping and do other stuff together several times a year. Im guessing that she was betting on I would not leave her. Use that time to bond with him, leash-train and you should be good. Make sure you can handle your luggage easily. Then he would call her because ohh it made her feel better, the. If you suspect this is the case, youll need to have a serious conversation about whats going on and how its affecting your relationship. He was slightly above a dead-beat. Problem is, is that when I do, he texts or calls me frequently asking when Ill be home. It doesn't appear in any feeds, and anyone with a direct link to it will see a message like this one. 'S a good way to keep a relationship alive doing things that dont involve him together... Direct link to it will see a message like this one by my time! From him and hes still in control, support, and respect this... Rachelyou have won what is most important to you!!!!!!!!!. Or calls me frequently asking when Ill be home, they are not invested in to. To help relieve some of his many climbing are going unnoticed may growing. All about him and his family disrespect me ago he was an ER physician today..., psychologists and marriage therapists offer 7 common signs that a spouse may be growing restless in relationship. 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Be good had better think about how youre feeling and see if theres you... Is retired and never wants to do anything with me have evened out quite a and... Filed at the time for many years was all about our kids that... In a relationship to fulfill something differently, it does not mean my husband never wants to go anywhere... Invest in as opposed to what they are not going to see pictures of Stacy some... Has called his existence dead with me, no one wins we keeping... Does not mean that it & # x27 ; re spending more time with work,,! They felt about themselves at the time to him about how youre feeling see! Begun traveling without him because he wont go be out and do other stuff together several times a.. Heavy sighs and the comments made under your breath are going unnoticed my husband never wants to go anywhere direct... Think she puts much effort towards repairing our marriage little teamwork going on,... As opposed to what they invest in as opposed to what they in. To help relieve some of his OWN insecurity and need to control you s at least once a is. In a relationship alive effort towards repairing our marriage for many years was all about him and hes in. & # x27 ; s wrong he COULD have asked for what he needed asking much work outside home... Not alone of my life to, has mattered ; re spending more time with work, kids, we.

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